An Integrated Treatment Approach
Therapy models
As a psychologist I am trained in a range of evidence-based therapy models, and so can work with you to find an approach which is tailored to your specific needs. My approach places relationships at the heart of all we do. I am trained in, and draw predominantly on, Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT), Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Interpersonal Psychotherapy (IPT) , Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) and Mindfulness approaches. I also use attachment theory, developmental theory and neuropsychological models to guide my interventions.
In addition, I have specialist training to support parenting interventions aimed at supporting families with who have fostered or adopted children. These include the Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics (NMT) and Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy (DDP).
If the choice of therapies feels overwhelming, don’t worry, you are not expected to be familiar with these or even know which you would prefer. If you do that’s fine. If not, that’s also fine, I am more than happy to talk you through your options and we can think together about what would best suit your needs.
I can help with a variety of issues throughout your journey into parenthood, including:
Pre-conception
Deciding to start a family is often not a straightforward decision. Taking time with your partner, or individually, to explore your fears and concerns in a safe space can be a helpful starting point and an opportunity to maximise your emotional wellbeing during your pregnancy.
Assisted conception
Assisted conception involves a range of treatments to increase the likelihood of conception. This can be an extremely challenging and distressing time for parents. Alongside the emotional rigours of the treatment, responses such as shock, grief, depression, anger, and frustration are common. There can also be an impact on self-esteem and relationships. Having space to acknowledge and process these can offer some relief.
Depression
This can sometimes be hard to notice when you first have a baby as you adapt to the transition, recover from the birth and cope with a lack of sleep. It is normal to experience the ‘baby blues’ three to four days after having your baby which can leave you feeling tearful, low, anxious or irritable. This experience tends to resolve itself within a couple of weeks.
Post-natal depression is a different experience. It can occur at any time during the pregnancy and partners can also experience post-natal depression. You might find yourself feeling sad, teary and hopeless. It might be difficult to motivate yourself and you may find you struggle to eat or sleep. Having a safe, compassionate space to understand why you might be feeling this way and to use the evidence we have about which therapies help alleviate depression can be useful at this time.
Anxiety
Anxiety is another common experience antenatally and postnatally. You may experience this as physical tension, a racing heart or as overwhelming thoughts that are difficult to control. Alternatively, you may find yourself experiencing unwelcome thoughts, urges or doubts that intrude into your thought processes causing anxiety and/or behaviours to try and reduce your anxiety.
There is a good evidence-base for therapies to address these difficulties. Taking time to understand how these thoughts and behaviours get triggered and why we have these kind of responses without blaming ourselves, can help in managing them.
Birth Trauma
Men, women or their partners can experience birth trauma when they are presented with a situation where they experience either themselves or the baby as at risk of serious harm during the birthing process. This is a very individual experience and what traumatises one person may not affect another. Trauma can be caused by a range of experiences from complications during labour and the delivery, to not feeling properly cared for or consulted by those around you.
Symptoms may include flashbacks or a sense that you are ‘re-living’ the experience in some way. You may find your response to a sense of threat is ‘tuned up’, you may feel low in mood, anxious and irritable or struggle to connect with those around you, including your baby.
EMDR is a powerful, evidence-based approach to help you process and recover from traumatic events. I am also trained in attachment-focused EMDR (AF-EMDR) which supports healing from trauma experienced in early childhood which might be triggered by more recent experiences.
Fatherhood
New and expectant fathers can also struggle in the perinatal period with 5-6% experiencing symptoms of anxiety and depression in the first six months after the birth of their baby. Equally, partners can be traumatised following the birth or loss of a baby and may struggle with transitioning to parenthood, particularly if their partner is struggling. I also offer individual support and therapy to partners and fathers struggling during the perinatal period.
Loss
For many reasons, there can be an experience of loss during the perinatal period; difficulty conceiving, abortion, miscarriage, stillbirth or the death of a baby following birth. The ways in which we experience loss are very individual as is the time when we may be ready to seek help. I offer a nurturing space for you to explore your feelings in relation to your loss at a pace which feels right for you.
Bonding and nurturing connections
Despite being led to believe that it will be ‘love at first sight’ with a new baby, studies show about 20% of new parents don’t feel an immediate bond with their newborn. Despite this being a normal experience, many parents can feel deep shame, guilt or sadness. Sometimes bonding simply takes time. It can be made more difficult if you are experiencing depression, anxiety, have had a traumatic birth or have had your own difficult early experiences as a child.
I offer a compassionate, non-shaming approach to support you to recognise and gain relief from any self-blame and make sense of what might be blocking your desire to connect. I have further training in Mentalization-Based Treatment (MBT) approaches which can help improve and nurture the connection between parents and their infants.
Parenting
From the moment there is a new baby or child in the family, we can be inundated with advice about how to parent. This advice is often confusing and contradictory. It can become even more difficult to know the best way to parent your child if you can’t make sense of their behaviour. While I do not advocate a particular parenting style, being able to think about a child experiences, alongside their neuro-developmental stage, can help make sense of their behaviours. There are also certain ways of relating to children which can enhance the relationship between you and your child, as well as supporting their own wellbeing. I am also trained in NMT and DDP which are assessment and therapeutic approaches to understanding and parenting fostered and adopted children.